How Do You React When You Are Cold?

Have you ever noticed that when people are cold, they don’t look relaxed? They pull in and cross their arms. I was very thin most of my adult life and had a strange relationship with the cold. The cold seemed to stop me in my tracks.

In the mid-eighties I went to Lenard Orr’s hot springs retreat center in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. The snow was deep. It was an incredible sight to this southerner. I spent 9 hours in the snow, alone on the side of a mountain, hosted by a roaring fire. The fire was my friend and savior; it seemed to talk to me – not in words, but it offered a deep comforting wordless solitude. Snow fell and the white covered world with its profound stillness was magic. I had never considered staying outside in a snow storm for nine hours. This was a fire initiation, but for me, it was an initiation into the cold. 

Later during my stay I attended a traditional sweat lodge. We entered the lodge naked (no shoes either) and perched on towel covered frozen ground. It was warm in the lodge but between rounds we went out in the cold. Rather than go into my normal dialogue about the cold, I decided to see what I had avoided all these years – the direct experience of cold. In the past, I let my aversion to the cold run me. Now I wanted to face it. It was amazing that when I experienced the feel of the ice on my feet, and the cold on my skin, I was okay. It was not even unpleasant. It was a mystical experience to be fully present in the cold, directly experiencing it without out my mind dominating the experience. What freedom.

Even though it is wise to dress appropriately for cold weather, and the cold signals a time for more of an inner experience, it also offers a training. If you live in a cold climate, you may have to take the coldness training every day. My suggestion is that that you determine and define your relationship to the cold. We’ve all trained to complain about the cold and to avoid the cold, but if you find yourself in the cold  - just try the direct experience of it. You can go into the warmth of your home, I’m not suggesting you hang around in the cold for fun, but you will be in the cold. For once, face it without your mind working on how to fix it – even for a few seconds. Everyone will find something different, but if you directly experience this physical discomfort, you will find something that you didn’t know you had. And when you face the cold, rather than running from it, you will find that your life can be easier and easier.

Demonizing Food

One of the less-examined areas of addiction is food addiction. It is estimated that eight million Americans have an eating disorder–seven million women and one million men. Celebrities with eating disorders include Elton John, Princess Diana, Nicole Richie, Jane Fonda, Joan Rivers, Britney Spears, and Lynn Redgrave. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.

In addition to eating disorders, we have disordered eating. We use food to cover up emotions and to dull emotional pain. Some authorities believe that over 65 percent of women and 45 percent of men have disordered eating patterns. These statistics point to a startling truth: our relationship with food is sick.

Read more....

Article in the Quest Journal

Seeing What is Already Here

One day in January of 2014 I looked refrigerator door and found a ghost.  There were so many notes, coupons, and pictures stuck on my fridge that notes got lost. While clearing expired coupons, I found a sticky note. It said "hummus, sprouts, and jacket." My heart stopped. It was put there by my dear deceased friend, Judy. I recognized her handwriting. She had probably come home with me, put her food in the fridge, her jacket in the closet, and written a note as a reminder to take them home. Now the jacket she wanted to remember hangs in my closet. I inherited it. Her body retired more than a year before, and the note was there all this time, but I never noticed. How many things do we overlook, not just one time, but consistently?

Is it possible that the answers we so desperately seek are here all along, available to us but overlooked? Enlightenment is about seeing what is already here. While we are having a fit about being in the dark, the light inside is always shining. Things are just not the way they appear to the conditioned mind, and if we want freedom, we have to realize that nothing is missing; everything is okay. Nothing missing. Got it?

Easy Does It

Today I saw a squirrel run up and down a tree to find the perfect spot to jump to the roof of the front porch. It was a difficult jump. I watched from my second story window as he strategized. Finally he leaped. He made it. There was no food on that small roof and no way to get to the top of the upper roof. The only place for him to go was back from where he started.

I smiled, knowing how it feels to put effort into a losing idea or life choice. Even though there was time and effort put into the squirrel’s jump, I’m sure he was not traumatized when he had to backtrack. Next time I make a mistake, lose an unsaved article, or go on a fruitless journey, I plan to remember that squirrel. He provided a great lesson in ease. Even though he went the wrong way, he never had a hard attack.

Have a great week. I hope this little squirrel will inspire you to take a different kind of leap – a leap away from ego driven suffering.

Anne

More EZosophy

Make Your Life a Love Story

Be delighted by Life. Let it take you into her arms and nourish you. Awaken to Life. Embrace Life. Don’t think of life as hard or as a burden. These may sound like lofty words, but these are words that are worthy of us. This is the truth of our being.

Life is not the enemy and fortunately, there is no enemy. Jesus said to love our enemies, because when we do that, they no longer are our foes. Gandhi said the best way to defeat an enemy is to turn them into a friend. This doesn’t refer to the enemies on the outer battlefield; it’s about the enemies in the inner world. Our enemy is anyone we criticize silently (in our mind talk), those we are jealous of, and those we are upset with when they treat us poorly. We are so prone to defense that we turn our friends and loved ones into frenemies even when they are the ones who love us the most. We are in love with defending. We think our existence depends on having people to be upset with. Notice the next time you are upset with someone and see if you want to hang on to your upset or if you are willing to let it go. When we do not want to let go of our upset, it points to our need to hang onto drama. Irritation or anger is more dangerous to our health than smoking or the lack of exercise. It’s one thing to be upset with others, but realizing that the upset is killing us prematurely, should make us take pause in our emotions 

Life is an ever-present unfolding mystery that touches us at every turn with adventure and pleasure.  The real adventure is the inner journey, but too often we get sidetracked with our relationships. We use them as an excuse to get out of our life’s mission. We have a mission. It is not a mission to be a great singer or inventor; it is a mission to be a great lover. We are destined to be a lover of all people, a purveyor of compassion, and transformer of darkness into light. Our mission is to shine our light so others can shine. We are supposed to dig into the souls of others until we find the gold. We are not designed to find weak spots in our friends, coworkers, and family members and then to go after them so we can feel like bigger people. 

We are the very embodiment of love. We are his people and the sheep of his pasture. Let us rest in this knowing because when we set our hearts love-ward there is a universal wind that draws us towards a sweetness that we want to share. We can’t contain the good news. We share it in our smiles, looks of appreciation, and kind words. We shed the cynicism, the defense, and the anger. We release the fear and the sadness dissolves. We rejoice in Life. Let’s set our sails love-ward and share the love of our existence with others, and not project our pain into our relationships. It is our mission. We don’t have to run around shouting that we don’t know what to do with our lives. How much clearer can it be? Love one another and that will not only make our lives EZier, it will make our lives meaningful.

What's Your Wrong System?

The Wrong System: Do You Have to Right it?

What’s in your wrong system? Is life itself wrong? Is life a problem that requires your assistance? Is it a mystery to be solved? Are you wrong? Do you work hard to be right? Do you have to win arguments or convert others to your way of seeing? Do you go to extremes to prove others wrong or gossip about their shortcomings?

Maybe you have a “wrong system.” A wrong system starts with the belief that life is wrong. Life is a consortium of disconnects, and if life is wrong, then someone must right that wrong. The wrong system is popular among heroes and fixers, a paradise for problem solvers and for those who love challenges. Whether you are a bright-eyed optimist or a naysayer, the wrong system is perfect for you. If nothing was wrong, then you couldn’t be an optimist. If there wasn’t a negative, then you couldn’t be so darn positive!

The wrong system gives meaning to life. “I can fix life, I can fix me, and I can fix others.” I’m a wrong quester. I can see the problem in all situations, circumstances, and people. If I have a problem, I always have a purpose. No one can live without a purpose. You know, without a vision the people perish. If I’m the problem, then even better. It gives me an eternal occupation. My life is then about analyzing me, what I do, and my relationships. When I get it all figured out, I can then dig deeper and find another layer of problems. You know, life is like an onion.

What is in your wrong system? You know. You live there. Most wrong systems come second hand. We can thank parents, professors, and culture for conferring such meaningful constructive data. And we buy it, love it, relish in it. Enchanting.

Enough; convinced. See how we manipulate reality to suit our distorted purposes? Want out? Where is the answer? How does one give up the familiar pattern of wrong? Can it be as simple as just looking for what is right? Looking for what is right is an antidote. We often call that gratitude; we can call it the glass half full. Really anything that stops the mind in its tracks and turns it away from wrong. This is the classic solution, yet to look in the opposite direction of wrong, proves to the mind that the wrong exists.

Changing our perception, which again proves there was something wrong, is different from changing our experience. Perhaps the most direct path to recovery is to remove the wrong system all together.

Let It Be

If we can allow things to be as they are, then no suffering ensues. Emotional suffering is a product of not accepting things the way they are. Resisting reality creates suffering. This doesn’t mean we don’t change things in the future, but we cannot change what already is in the present. As the old adage goes, “Resistance causes persistence.” And suffering exists in that resistance.

I sing the wrong song. I may sing it in a positive way, but until I acknowledge and dispel the underlying assumption that life is a problem – and have the courage to give up the need to define myself as anything, any thought, or any belief system, the life I construct is a house of sand. There is no firm foundation.

Life is radically concept-free. Life is the awareness of the eternal wellspring of being. The living heart sutra, a teaching of the Buddha, is that form is emptiness and emptiness is form.

That which we are is not wrong. Wrongness is a construct that floats in the collective unconscious. As we expose that thought and bring it to awareness, it disappears. When our wrong system crumbles, it takes with it the burdensome thing we call our lives, and brings us life itself. This is reality – life without meaning. You think everyone wants meaning? We have to have it. Think anew; the moment we setup meaning, we reenter right and wrong. Meaning takes time and belief systems that ultimately lead us away from “Now.” There’s nothing “wrong” with meaning. I just ask you to put all things aside in just this moment and see what is here without such concepts as meaning. What is here is enough; it takes away ancient and limiting memories and delivers pure consciousness.

Get It Now

Do not be fooled into believing you cannot get this now. Now is when it is available. The state of full living and life itself is not reserved for masters, saints, or great beings. Don’t think you will fix yourself up enough so that at some unspecified time in the future you will get it. It’s now; only now. The future is a psychological concept of the mind. Forget what you know and enter the awareness of now. Do this and you can’t “go wrong.” This is not the “right” thing to do; we do it because our inner wisdom draws us to now.

I’ve found that trying to fix my junk thoughts is an endless task, and letting things be the way they are, without rising to the drama of mentalizing, brings me back to life. Following thought trails and fixing the mind is such a habit. I prefer taking my mind to a resting place. Just focusing on the breath can tip the mind off its perch into the light of life. Almost anything that brings us into our bodies and out of our head deposes the mind. When we get into our bodies we expand our awareness.

Moving out of the head starts the opening. As we open, we bathe ourselves in the awareness of who we are, in the direct experience of life. As this occurs, all searching, longing, planning, fixing, and analyzing ceases. We are free at last from the ego’s  stand - free from restlessness, free from longing. And the more we dip into this universal, ever-present me-ness, the easier it is to remain present to life.

You will be able to find many times when what I’ve written is not true for you. This is a habit of the mind. It takes us up and down blind alleys, using our best reasoning, but just for a moment, read this with an open mind. This is written about a new dimension of experience; it is not a doctrine to be applied as salvation. It is written to expand the mind, not to refute or support what you already know. Life is full of miracle and grace, and only you can move past the words and into the mystery these words point to.