What's Your Wrong System?

The Wrong System: Do You Have to Right it?

What’s in your wrong system? Is life itself wrong? Is life a problem that requires your assistance? Is it a mystery to be solved? Are you wrong? Do you work hard to be right? Do you have to win arguments or convert others to your way of seeing? Do you go to extremes to prove others wrong or gossip about their shortcomings?

Maybe you have a “wrong system.” A wrong system starts with the belief that life is wrong. Life is a consortium of disconnects, and if life is wrong, then someone must right that wrong. The wrong system is popular among heroes and fixers, a paradise for problem solvers and for those who love challenges. Whether you are a bright-eyed optimist or a naysayer, the wrong system is perfect for you. If nothing was wrong, then you couldn’t be an optimist. If there wasn’t a negative, then you couldn’t be so darn positive!

The wrong system gives meaning to life. “I can fix life, I can fix me, and I can fix others.” I’m a wrong quester. I can see the problem in all situations, circumstances, and people. If I have a problem, I always have a purpose. No one can live without a purpose. You know, without a vision the people perish. If I’m the problem, then even better. It gives me an eternal occupation. My life is then about analyzing me, what I do, and my relationships. When I get it all figured out, I can then dig deeper and find another layer of problems. You know, life is like an onion.

What is in your wrong system? You know. You live there. Most wrong systems come second hand. We can thank parents, professors, and culture for conferring such meaningful constructive data. And we buy it, love it, relish in it. Enchanting.

Enough; convinced. See how we manipulate reality to suit our distorted purposes? Want out? Where is the answer? How does one give up the familiar pattern of wrong? Can it be as simple as just looking for what is right? Looking for what is right is an antidote. We often call that gratitude; we can call it the glass half full. Really anything that stops the mind in its tracks and turns it away from wrong. This is the classic solution, yet to look in the opposite direction of wrong, proves to the mind that the wrong exists.

Changing our perception, which again proves there was something wrong, is different from changing our experience. Perhaps the most direct path to recovery is to remove the wrong system all together.

Let It Be

If we can allow things to be as they are, then no suffering ensues. Emotional suffering is a product of not accepting things the way they are. Resisting reality creates suffering. This doesn’t mean we don’t change things in the future, but we cannot change what already is in the present. As the old adage goes, “Resistance causes persistence.” And suffering exists in that resistance.

I sing the wrong song. I may sing it in a positive way, but until I acknowledge and dispel the underlying assumption that life is a problem – and have the courage to give up the need to define myself as anything, any thought, or any belief system, the life I construct is a house of sand. There is no firm foundation.

Life is radically concept-free. Life is the awareness of the eternal wellspring of being. The living heart sutra, a teaching of the Buddha, is that form is emptiness and emptiness is form.

That which we are is not wrong. Wrongness is a construct that floats in the collective unconscious. As we expose that thought and bring it to awareness, it disappears. When our wrong system crumbles, it takes with it the burdensome thing we call our lives, and brings us life itself. This is reality – life without meaning. You think everyone wants meaning? We have to have it. Think anew; the moment we setup meaning, we reenter right and wrong. Meaning takes time and belief systems that ultimately lead us away from “Now.” There’s nothing “wrong” with meaning. I just ask you to put all things aside in just this moment and see what is here without such concepts as meaning. What is here is enough; it takes away ancient and limiting memories and delivers pure consciousness.

Get It Now

Do not be fooled into believing you cannot get this now. Now is when it is available. The state of full living and life itself is not reserved for masters, saints, or great beings. Don’t think you will fix yourself up enough so that at some unspecified time in the future you will get it. It’s now; only now. The future is a psychological concept of the mind. Forget what you know and enter the awareness of now. Do this and you can’t “go wrong.” This is not the “right” thing to do; we do it because our inner wisdom draws us to now.

I’ve found that trying to fix my junk thoughts is an endless task, and letting things be the way they are, without rising to the drama of mentalizing, brings me back to life. Following thought trails and fixing the mind is such a habit. I prefer taking my mind to a resting place. Just focusing on the breath can tip the mind off its perch into the light of life. Almost anything that brings us into our bodies and out of our head deposes the mind. When we get into our bodies we expand our awareness.

Moving out of the head starts the opening. As we open, we bathe ourselves in the awareness of who we are, in the direct experience of life. As this occurs, all searching, longing, planning, fixing, and analyzing ceases. We are free at last from the ego’s  stand - free from restlessness, free from longing. And the more we dip into this universal, ever-present me-ness, the easier it is to remain present to life.

You will be able to find many times when what I’ve written is not true for you. This is a habit of the mind. It takes us up and down blind alleys, using our best reasoning, but just for a moment, read this with an open mind. This is written about a new dimension of experience; it is not a doctrine to be applied as salvation. It is written to expand the mind, not to refute or support what you already know. Life is full of miracle and grace, and only you can move past the words and into the mystery these words point to.

Authenticity: The Path of Relief

Recently I spoke to a group about living in the body and getting out of your head. I call the lecture “Alive, Awake, Aware: the Power of Now.” Later I told my husband it was a good class. He asked if I told the group that I had bouts of anxiety. He had expected me to say no. He had that “What would they think if they knew?” and “I’m sure you’re keeping it from them” look hiding in his eyes. I replied, “Absolutely, I told them I have periods of anxiety and depression.” I am not a hide anything kind of person. I don’t present one face to the world and live another reality at home. That’s called compartmentalizing and it's a tough one to pull off. It’s also called “keeping up appearances” and it adds to our stress and anxiety load. I take medicine for my situation rather than to deny it exists. My medicine is meditation, breath-work, exercise, clean eating, and feeding my mind with refreshing words of wholeness. These practices dissipate, or at least reduce, the on and off anxiety I deal with.

Spiritually awakened people talk about how they lived with anxiety and when they awakened, they never felt that anxiety again. I wish that were the case with me, but not so. I seem to have a finicky nervous system, one that freaks when a hormone goes astray. When we wake up to a new and fresh states of living, we assume that we will never have bad times again. We think that our old wounds and problems will disappear forever and everything will be bright and shiny. In a way that is true, but even though a silver spoon does not lose its luster, it has to be washed after we eat, or polished when the surface oxidizes. We are like the spoon: we have to be washed, cleaned, and polished from time to time. There’s no need to be embarrassed about getting tarnished.

It’s best not to try to appear any way. We can just be the way we are, when we are that way. When I am not anxious, I rarely mention anxiety, but when my knees are knocking, the subject comes up. “I’m having a tough day. My nerves are raw.” Then the conversation can move on. My best friend just says, “I’m sorry you’re having a tough day.” She doesn’t try to fix me; she just stays there with me a moment, and then we move on to another topic. Caveat, it’s better to not self-disclose in a business meeting or bank transaction. We need to use common sense as to when to reveal our innermost thoughts and feelings, to whom to disclose them, and how to express them. We need to find a place to share and be willing to keep a grin off our face when we feel like hell. A fake smile constitutes an emotional secret. We can’t thrive when we keep emotional secrets. When we act like we feel one way, when we actually feel another, we forfeit our authenticity.

Fortunately, emotional honesty garners more supporters than critics. It feels good when people discover they are not alone; everyone has character flaws and goes through debilitating emotional states. It’s such a comforting experience to hear, “I know how you feel.” It is, however, important how we share this information. Too often people whine, act like victims, feel sorry for themselves, act angry and self-righteous, complain, or act like martyrs when they share their feelings. When we share emotional states in the preceding manner, we drain others. It’s hard to be around suffering that is surrounded in sticky, feel-sorry-for-me, save-me kind of energy. It is also distasteful to others when we wear our suffering like a badge of courage, assume no one can ever understand our pain, or believe that our suffering makes us unique and special.

We are human; not only do we make mistakes, we do emotional battle. We don’t have emotional wars all the time, but those times do come up. When we are not at our best, we have no business acting like Pollyanna. The next time you are tempted to plaster a fake smile across your face, reconsider. You do not have to act positive and bright when you don’t feel positive and bright. Don’t smile, just act normal, and when you do, you will find that life is EZier and EZier.

EZosophist Agreement

Ready to let go of the drama? Tired of Hard Attacks? Make this commitment to yourself:

I, (your name), am willing to give up the ego driven struggle, stress, drama, and sacrifice in my life. Even though there are some circumstances in life that are difficult, there is no circumstance that can not become easier and most things can flow with ease. I admit that I have been a Hardaholic. I have made life hard and suffered about it. I am willing to drop the drama. Hardaholic no more! This is a statement of intention to become an EZosophist and to implement the principles of ease in my life and in all of my affairs.

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Recently, I came across this silly poem I wrote more than 15 years ago. Silliness, when properly placed, assuages fear and terminal seriousness.

Martyr, Martyr, let it go.
Do not suffer, be in flow.
Take your pain and add some ease.
Let your thoughts be peaceful please.

Do not struggle, do not stress.
Give your stuff a needed rest.
Life is easy when you’re not
Making life a Hardaholic plot.

EZosophy is the way
To send hardships to their grave.
Make life easy, make it light.
Forget the need to be uptight.

Life is good; just let it be.
Give up the drama and you will see
Freedom, lightness, love, and peace.
Easy thoughts bring quick release.

I am willing to risk being corny; it keeps my intellectual side humble. I hope this brings at least a smile and points to the thought that we can make life EZsier and EZsier.

Anne

Prayer for Depression

God, again this oppressive blanket of hopelessness covers my heart. Sadness shields my vision. I view the world through the lens of desperation. I feel bound to the never-ending power of pain. I seem to be chained to endless depression. Armed with this all too familiar suffering, I come to you. Lift me up into a new experience. Replace my vision with your reality. Restore my faith in myself and in the perfection and order of life. Replace my mental stagnation with a sacred sense of dynamism. Shower me with a sense of nonjudgmental self-acceptance.

Let my mind give no thought to the world of illusion so that it can be returned to its resplendent place at the right hand of love.

Return my mind to sanity, my heart to love and my vision to inspiration. I give up my need to cover-up and deny this reality. I face this depression and surrender it into your light. I know that your will for me is grounded in perfect joy. In you and with you, I rise into a new reality with a powerful sense of freedom. My vision is sourced in a vast wisdom and doors that have been closed swing open to the floodgates of my soul. This moment offers a new sense of release that is returning me to your loving presence. No longer does the dream of separation tear my inner world into shreds. The restoration of my good is becoming the overriding perception of my inner world. I am released from my powerlessness into an ever-widening awareness of your power living in me. The rumblings of my spirit have become the music of my soul. My life is singing love songs. I am blessed with your presence, nurtured in your vision and nourished in your light. The pain that has bound me no longer rules my life. As I emerge into this new state of vibrant aliveness, I give thanks that your love has once more saved me from the bondage of my past beliefs. I walk freely now, empowered by your love and guided by your wisdom. Amen

©1989 Excerpted from Offbeat Prayers for the Modern Mystic

Anne Sermons Gillis MS, is a life coach, breath worker, and speaker. You can order her books, Offbeat Prayers of the Modern Mystic, EZosophy: The Art and Wisdom of Easier Living, and Standing in the Dark online at annegillis.com  order or call 281-419-1775