I come from a long line of chewers. My mom was an avid gum chewer. My paternal grandmother chewed tobacco. I live in the south, and everywhere I look, there are gum chewers. Some chewers are discreet, while others noisily chomp, smack, and spray. I think of myself as a closet chewer, at least in public. I hold the gum in the side of my mouth, and when no one's looking, I bite into my crack. Yes, gum is crack to me.
Gum was my partner when my fiancé left me. It took me through
divorce, a baby, remarriage, the purchase of a new home, the loss of my
mom and dad, the death of my pets, and a stock market fiasco.
I write best while I'm chewing. I even think it exercises my face. It
keeps me awake when I'm driving and gives my mouth something to do when
I want to eat. Chewing keeps my mouth moist, takes away bad tastes, and
makes me kissable.
I quit chewing gum sweetened with artificial sweeteners years ago; I
figured real sugar was better for me than those mind-altering,
waist-expanding substitutes. One day I decided to look at the
ingredients in the sugary based gum I used. What in the heck was in my
mouth? It was not a pretty picture. It was an OMG moment. I had been
chewing – are you ready for this? RUBBER! I was chewing tires, or at
least pre-tire material. My relationship with gum might be my longest,
relationship, but now my relationship was threatened.
I went for days without gum. Memories of bygone times pierced my
waking moments. I missed the jaw action and that first chomp into a
fresh piece of heaven. I longed for the sensuous feel in my mouth when I
rolled my gum from side to side. This would never do; I went on a gum
quest. Where do the real gum gods reside? I must find them; I must
satisfy the deep soul call of my gum destiny. I needed a new gum mate.
I found some gum, some cool, wonderful gum, but cost made it
prohibitive. I mean I would not spend 3 or 4 dollars on a pack of gum,
and I found that all natural gum was not equal. But I did find one gum
that stood out: Glee Gum. Glee Gum
is all natural chewing gum made with sustainably harvested rain forest
chicle. It is touted as the #1 healthy alternative to synthetic chewing
gum and bubble gum! It
contains no artificial colors, flavors, preservatives, or artificial
sweeteners (no aspartame). I recommend the lemon lime sugarless
gum. Glee Gum uses Xylitol as a sweetener. Xylitol is found naturally
in the fibers of fruits and veggies like corn, raspberries, and plums.
It can help benefit dental health, fight cavities, reduce plaque, and
even clear nasal passages. It's a safe choice for people on restricted
diets. It comes in bulk, is reasonably priced, and their staff is
So now I chew with Glee. My gum is with me as I sit and peck out a
few words. I press it to the front of my mouth and take tiny bits. Bit,
bit, bit - it's a game we play. I slide it to the side of my mouth and
hunker down in a fleeting moment of gum ecstasy. I have found my
gum-mate and it's a terrific relationship. Happy chewing to you, and if
you are not a chewer, by now you may think I am loco. Chew well, eat
well, and prosper. Da Gum, I'm Having Fun. Yum, Yum. Great gum.
Join the Muppets in asking that existential question, "Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?"