More Than Words Can Say

Some days words speak to me. They already know what they are going to say. They come like a well rehearsed play giving a perfect performance. But most of the time the words are like old grade B movies. The film is worn, the picture faded. I get lost in the wording. I’m in a trance spinning reality into useless web. I forget to look, to notice. The film occupies my mind; there’s no light..It’s just a thought bath.

I like it when words are soft, when they bring sweetness and ring out truth. Often they turn into well-loved songs. What grace, such peace. Why not? Why not now? Why not get a peace of the stillness? What words bring laughter and hum me to sleep? What words give rest to the tired and a sense of sufficiency to the poor? What words harm and hurt?

Who am I in the midst of all this mental movement? Can I even be present when so many words speed by? Do I want to wisely choose my words or should I let them bubble through? What should I do?

When choosing words I’ll take the words “fortunate, lucky, grace, wonder, curious, infinite and possible.” These words I love. They expand me. Me to me thoughts, but what words do I avoid? Is it really the words or is it the intent from which they flow? I don’t like harsh words. Sarcastic words, cruel words, name-calling. I don’t like hour after hour of someone else’s TV words . I get lost in TV words. They have too much power. I become a dying soul not a sole survivor. – a numbed out façade of a person- a compilation of other’s thoughts.

There’s more, something deeper. There’s a wordless place that means more than all I seek to control and know. It’s a mindless state – not a space of ignorance but the space where my mind lets go of strongholds and melts into a deeper source.

It’s big this space. The admission - mental surrender. The place is inside and out there too. I catch myself wanting it – really deeply longing for the infinite mind. A mind that works in ways my limited mind can’t imagine. Can that mind, all I call me, understand how limited it is or does it take a touch from infinite mind to look back at its limits and know that it is here? I want to talk about “It,” the greatness of everything. I get bored with just the exchange of history – of lists of things to do – of worn out stories and ancient hatreds. I tire of surface chatter all those things that just don’t matter.

I light up with kind words. I come alive when heartfelt words find their way home. I love heart to heart – I love brilliant conversation even if it is mental and lends itself to “latte drinking liberals.” I love the eye to eye silent words that only we understand.

And I love you – you who come in many faces – you who graces plants and animals and fish – you the mountains and the seas. I love you – you that is me. I and you, not really two. Different forms – same source. I love you and that’s enough.